Our grantee organizations are full of compassionate people who make a profound impact on the world, and whose stories inspire the work that we do. Our next story from this month’s featured grantee, Domus, comes from Robert*, a former Domus student whose life was positively impacted by the unwavering support of his teachers.
I know none of you will believe this, but I used to be considered a bad kid. When I went through the Undoing Racism training last month, there was one thing that really stuck with me: Kids of color get labelled bad or stupid or special education when they are none of those things, and they become stuck there, unable to move onto a different or better path. That easily could have been me; in fact, for a while, it was me. I had a smart mouth, I had some speech issues, and my size was always intimidating to people. It was easy for people to look at me and decide I wasn’t worth their extra time and effort. I had been kicked out of classes and programs. I had been told by people that they didn’t want me in their buildings.
Something was different when I started attending the schools at Domus: No one was looking to get me out of the school or tell me I couldn’t come back when I acted out. In fact, it was just the opposite: People were constantly supporting me, asking if they could help me, and telling me they wanted me here. Mr. McGuire and Mr. Baker specifically were determined to help me succeed. The people cared, and it wasn’t because they had to…because it was part of their job. They really cared! Mr. McGuire used to tell me if I needed him to call him, and he would be there; even if it was 2 or 3 in the morning, he would always answer and always be there. I always kind of ignored him until one night I needed him, and he was there – no question or complaint. That’s what makes Domus different – they care all the time, not just when you get straight As or are sitting quietly in a chair…they care just as much when you have to call them at 3am to help you because you are in trouble.
I am not going to say that Domus arrived in my life and everything became easy, or all my problems were solved, because that just isn’t true. I still made some mistakes. I can remember a particularly bad decision when I ended up getting arrested and having to make a very difficult phone call to Mike D…on a Saturday…at 9pm. I was nervous to call him because I didn’t know if he would help me, and I was angry at myself because I knew he would be disappointed in me. But he got in his car and drove over an hour to Stamford on a Saturday night, and he helped me get through it. And better than that, he helped me learn from it so it would never happen again, and it hasn’t.
And lucky for me, just when I started to get my act together, there was a job opening at Domus. There was no hesitation about whether or not this would be a good place for me to work. It felt like coming home. I am proud to work here. I come here every day knowing that I work somewhere that really cares for its kids. And the support and love that I always received as a young person hasn’t changed one bit. When I walk in each day, Jim, my supervisor, always asks me how I am doing and makes sure I am OK. When I have an issue or problem, I know that I can go to Mike or Melissa or Jimmy and get help. I am a father now, and I want to be the best dad I can be…I want to be the kind of person to my own kids and the kids in our programs that the people at Domus have always been to me. I know that Domus has made me a better person and has helped me to be a better father, and for that I will always be grateful.
To Domus staff members: You may have kids in your classes or programs who drive you crazy or who can be disrespectful and difficult. You may think you aren’t making a difference on a day-to-day basis because they continue to behave in the same way. You may be tired, overwhelmed, or feeling burnt out. But on your very worst days, I want you to stop and think of me for a moment. Think of a kid who kept getting shuffled from place to place, who was kicked out of programs and written off as someone who would never amount to anything. And then remind yourself of who I am today: a full-time employee and a father engaged to be married. I live in my own place, own my car, and provide for my family…I am a valuable member of my community. And I am all of this because 15 years ago, some people looked at me and believed that I could be someone, and they pushed me and pushed me to believe it too. And now look at me…I am a SUCCESS, and if you are that person to just one kid in your career, you are a success as well.
* Robert is a pseudonym of a previous Domus student who is now giving back and changing lives through his work with the organization.
Author not pictured in the image above. Photo by Pamela Einarsen.